Kids Say The Darnedest Things!

Okay, I've accepted the fact that I'm not getting any younger. However, all these kids I teach only seem to get younger. So, that means that almost anything they say is cute. These "cute" children often come up with whopper doodle lies that last for days. Lies drive me a little batty but are often times amusant. Then, the "cute" ones also say some things that are really funny and true. As a former journalist, the truth is what I'm always searching for and love to find. I like to hear about it too, even when it might not put me in the most flattering light. Here's my story about a true confession and an actual dialogue with a class of first graders recently.

Me: Okay class, I've written my name on the board "Mrs. Bernstein". You know me by this name. However, my husband calls me by my first name "Tracy". My dad has a silly knickname for me. He's called me this since I was a little girl. I tell them it's "baby doomp."

(The kids all giggle)

Child 1: I have a knickname too. It's "Mags".

Child 2: I have another name. It's "Kate" short for Katherine.

Me: What are some other names you might be called?

Child 3: Um, you could be called "OLD LADY".

(The classroom erupts into thunderous laughter that lasts for two days.)

Me: Well, that's true. I could be called "old lady".

(More giggles)

Me: Okay, so we've established there are many different names that you can be called and I can be called. Did you know that numbers have others names as well.

(Giggles still linger in the air)

Me: Okay class, get the giggles out. Quickly, do what I do.

(Finally, the class was back on track but my mind was racing with laughter)

End of a true story...



Here's another recent true story that did not actually happen to me but it just goes to show you what creative thinkers are.

A second grade child had apparently been caught spitting on another child. The teacher confronts the child about his spitting. Let's call him Timmy. Timmy admits to his mistake. Trying to get to the bottom of this disturbing problem, the teacher asks, "why did you spit on this other student?" Timmy replies very matter of factly, "Um, I was making a schedule for the day and spitting at him was on my schedule. So, I had to follow it." The teacher remained silent contemplating the logic and truthfulness of Timmy's thought provoking answer.

Question of the Day: What funny kids stories do you have to share?